Trump Losing Badly
“Have you been watching this?” Juan’s neighbor, Rob Lewis, had CNN blaring on his TV.
Juan shook his head, “I usually watch Univision.”
“I’m practicing my Spanish, but I can’t keep up with that station,” Rob said, handing Juan a beer. They settled in to watch the news.
The interview took place at the New York City courthouse, where Donald Trump was being held in a jail cell. The former President was wearing an orange jumpsuit and speaking in a visitor's area. He was surrounded by dark-suited Secret Service Agents. "President Trump, thank you for joining us tonight. It's been a rollercoaster of a campaign, hasn't it?"
Trump smiled, but his eyes betrayed a sense of disappointment. "As you know, I didn't have much choice about being here tonight, but I'm happy to take the interview," he said. It's a heck of a way to run a campaign, I'll tell you that. It's a real shame, a stain on this nation."
“Your numbers are in freefall,” the interviewer picked up the thread. “Since your imprisonment, the American public seems to be dropping the MAGA vision for America. What are your thoughts on this unprecedented and historic turn of events?”
Juan drained his beer. He tossed the can haphazardly at the recycle bin and missed. “I’m so sick of all these political attacks,” he growled. “I’ve been workin’ my butt off, and all we’ve got is this mess. It’s a disaster.”
“Oh no, brother,” Rob was nearly bursting with glee. “This is the best thing to ever happen to our country!”
“What are you talking about,” Juan accepted another beer. “How could any of this be good?”
"Because we put the orange man in an orange jumpsuit, bro!" Rob shouted.
Juan was offended, but Rob had been his friend for a long time. How come the liberals are always so willing to say offensive things? Even to their friends? he wondered for the millionth time.
“Think about it,” Rob explained. “To win the Presidency, Trump needs the Independents. But he's losing them now, right?”
By now, Juan was very familiar with the intricacies of the American election system. More familiar than Rob would ever know. He sipped his beer contentedly, knowing that his arrogant friend was due for a wake-up call very soon.
"Trump's got no chance to win now," Rob began counting off points using his fingers. He's already in jail for contempt of court," Rob's disgusted expression conveyed his feelings on that matter. Bidenomics has delivered a strong economy. Harris, the first woman of color to run for the office, is a historic candidate, and she's got what it takes to finally unite this country around the progressive values that represent the future of humanity."
Juan cast a sideways glance at his friend at this last comment. “So, you really think Harris is gonna win?” Juan couldn't keep the skepticism out of his question.
Rob laughed, “She's totally going to win, dude!”
Juan shook his head and took another sip of beer. "OK, if you say so."
"The Trump Train's gone off the rails," Rob crowed. "Harris is going to be our next President, and Trump's going to die in jail."
Juan pointed at the TV. “Him? Trump? You really think jail's gonna stop him?"
Rob took the next few minutes to explain to Juan that the poll numbers he was seeing showed that average Americans were finally turning away from the evil con man. "We're all set for a magnificent Blue Wave to sweep this nation clean of the racist, homophobic, xenophobic right-wing scum that has been allowed to keep breeding. Their end is near!"
Juan sighed and smiled enigmatically. "The Bible says that pride goes before that fall, my friend."
"Good riddance to the Christians too!" Rob was too drunk to remember that Juan was Catholic.
Understanding dawned on Juan, and his eyes lit up. "So, because Trump's in jail, regular Americans won't vote for him… then what?"
“Then Harris becomes our next President,” Rob slurred his words. "I guarantee it!"
They clinked beer cans together, "We'll see about that." Juan was betting he knew more about the subject than Rob would ever know.