“Have you been watching this?” Juan’s neighbor, Rob Lewis, had CNN blaring on his TV.
Juan shook his head, “I usually watch Univision.”
“I’m practicing my Spanish, but I can’t keep up with that station,” Rob said, handing Juan a beer. They settled in to watch the news.
The interview took place at the New York City courthouse, where Donald Trump was being held in a jail cell. The former President was wearing an orange jumpsuit and speaking in a visitor's area. He was surrounded by dark-suited Secret Service Agents. "President Trump, thank you for joining us tonight. It's been a rollercoaster of a campaign, hasn't it?"
Trump smiled, but his eyes betrayed a sense of disappointment. "As you know, I didn't have much choice about being here tonight, but I'm happy to take the interview," he said. It's a heck of a way to run a campaign, I'll tell you that. It's a real shame, a stain on this nation."
“Your numbers are in freefall,” the interviewer picked up the thread. “Since your imprisonment, the American public seems to be dropping the MAGA vision for America. What are your thoughts on this unprecedented and historic turn of events?”
Trump glared into the TV screen, "As you know, I served for four years as the most successful President in American history," he pronounced boldly. "But the crooked, corrupt communists of the current administration can't stand to see me back in the Oval Office. They've weaponized the Justice Department to lock up their political opponents like a dirty, third-world country. I don't deserve what's happened to me. No one does.
"The American people are now more polarized than they've ever been," the interviewer pushed back. "Because of your actions, now both sides are making threats of political violence. What are your thoughts on the unprecedented chaos you've thrust the country into?"
"I would disagree with your characterization," Trump's eyes flashed maniacally, and his chin tilted up. "The MAGA movement is the greatest movement in American history. The Right has never been more united. Once I am re-elected as President of the United States, my political opponents will discover that crossing me like this has consequences."
Rob drained his beer. He tossed the can haphazardly at the recycle bin and missed. “I’m so sick of that Nazi bastard,” he growled. “I'm glad he's finally in jail. I hope he dies in there!”
“Oh no, amigo,” Juan was nearly bursting with secret knowledge. “This is the best thing to ever happen to our country!”
“What are you talking about,” Rob accepted another beer. “How could any of this be good?”
Juan was about to explain when the announcer returned to discuss a news story he'd seen earlier that day on Univision. He pointed at the TV, "Listen to what he says."
The reporter interviewing Trump asked him, incredulously, "So you're saying tonight that you think you're going to win New York state?"
"Polls aren't everything," Trump countered. "Think about it. You need to get 270 electoral votes to win the Presidency, right?"
The reporter nodded in agreement and fell into Trump's trap. "OK."
"While I've been trapped here in New York City, do you think they've kept me from campaigning?" It was a rhetorical question, and Trump continued speaking. "After every day in the trial, where did I go? I went to visit a bodega. I went to visit the Teamsters. I've been campaigning every day. They made the mistake of bringing me into the belly of the beast."
“So, are you running right now from your jail cell?” The reporter did not bother to hide the snark in his question.
Trump scowled. "You're a very bad person. And your network is fake news. But I'll tell you this: your ratings are up right now. They are up right now because of me, your favorite President, although you won't ever give me credit for that. It's true. But right now, millions of people are watching me on your fake news network. And they know that I'm innocent. They know that I've been tormented by a relentless witch hunt. And they'll turn out for me in November in number you've never seen before."
Rob threw his hands in the air, spilling beer on the couch. “This guy is so full of…”
Juan smiled politely and tried to explain that no matter how people felt about Donald Trump, the election would be decided on ballot numbers and electoral college votes.
"I thought this was your first election?" Rob squinted suspiciously. "How'd you get so smart? Who have you been talking to?"
Juan wasn't about to tell his friend about the education he'd been receiving from his Tio Pablo about how the American election system really worked.
"No way Trump wins New York!" Rob pointed a wobbly finger at Juan. "Not in a million years!"
"He's going to win it - and Arizona, too," Juan said confidently. Get used to the idea, amigo. Donald Trump is going to be our next President."
“I'll take that bet!” Rob challenged, and they clinked beer cans together in a toast.