Senate Convicts Biden
“Don’t they have anything else on TV?” Juan’s daughter Sofia complained from her seat on the couch.
It was late evening, and Maria had just left for work. Juan was sitting in his chair, the remote by his side. He made no move to change the channel. He was watching wall-to-wall coverage of the Biden impeachment on KTVW Univision Arizona.
“I can’t even understand what they’re saying,” his daughter pouted.
She knew how to push her father’s buttons. “¿Qué? ¿Olvidaste cómo hablar español?” he snapped angrily. Had she forgotten how to speak Spanish? “Mind your manners!”
Sofia was unphased, “I haven’t forgotten. They just talk too fast.”
“You’ve been in America too long,” Juan’s anger was mostly for show, and they both knew it.
Sofia smirked, “Dad, I was born in America.” She picked out a chip from the open bag of Fritos that lay in her lap, “What are they talking about anyway?”
Juan pointed at the television, “He’s saying that the Senate's High Court of Impeachment has completed reviewing evidence and listening to witnesses. Now they will vote to see if President Biden gets convicted.”
“For what?” Sofia was now scrolling through her cell phone.
Juan gently batted the cell phone away, “Hey! Pay attention. This is important.”
“OK.” Sofia rolled her eyes, but she put down her phone. “So, who are those people?” She pointed at the TV screen.
“Those guys are called the ‘managers,’ and they act as the prosecutors,” Juan explained.
“I notice there are a lot of women among ‘those guys,’ Dad,” Sofia snarked. “You need to be more PC.”
Juan’s hands flew into the air, “Oh my…” But he censored his following words. He didn't like to swear in front of the kids. “How about that guy? You see him?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s John Roberts. He’s the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court!” Juan tried (seemingly in vain) to convey to his daughter some idea of the gravity of the events that were unfolding. “He is presiding over the count.”
Sofia was checking her phone again, “What count?”
“It takes two-thirds of the Senate to vote to convict the President,” Juan explained. “They’re doing the roll call now.”
“What happens if they convict him?” It seemed to Juan that his daughter was showing her first glimmer of interest. “Will he go to jail?”
Juan thought about the question for a moment, “I don’t think so. I think what happens is that Biden will be removed from office, and the Vice President will take over.”
“Kamala Harris will become the President?” Sofia perked up and started watching the television more closely. “That would be awesome! Our first woman President!”
“Are you kidding me?” Juan made a rude noise. “Ay, ay, ay, she’s terrible!”
“I think it’s about time we had a woman President,” Sofia insisted. For a long while after that, father and daughter watched the roll call in silence. Republican Senators said, “Aye,” and Democratic Senators said, “Nay.”
Then something strange began to happen. One Democratic Senator said, “Aye.” A few votes later, another Democratic Senator said, “Aye.”
“Why are they voting so slowly?” Sofia complained again.
Juan flashed her an angry look and then returned his eyes to the screen, “Hang on, something big is happening.”
On the television, three boxes lined up along the bottom of the screen. The first read, ‘34 Votes Needed to Acquit.’ The next box read ‘Not Guilty,’ with a slowly increasing number below it. The final box read ‘Guilty,’ with a slowly increasing number below it. After what seemed a long and ponderous time, it became apparent that there were not going to be enough ‘Not Guilty’ votes to acquit the President.
The announcer from KTVW Univision Arizona returned and began speaking excitedly again. The roll call continued, but the verdict was now clear. President Biden was guilty of the charges against him.
“President Biden has been indicted for high crimes and misdemeanors by a two-thirds majority of the Senate!” blared the Univision announcement. “For the first time in US history, a sitting president will be removed from office. What happens next?”
Sofia said, “This is awesome, Dad. Now we get our first woman President, right?”