Pessimistic Endstate
Rare Earth Elements
If you're stumbling upon this post for the first time, you're entering the narrative midway through its unfolding saga. Alternatively, if you've eagerly awaited the next episode, consider revisiting Chapter Index to refresh your memory.
Ranell lifted trembling fingers to his neck to feel the erratic pulse rushing through his carotid artery. His heart was still racing. I can’t catch my breath.
"Josef?" The quiet question came from Monsignor Raphael Mendoza, Ranell's friend, and confessor, from Our Lady of Refuge. "What's going on? Why did you ask to meet me here?" Mendoza placed a comforting hand on Ranell's shoulder.
Ranell felt out of sync with the beautiful setting. He'd chosen this spot to help himself calm down. It’s not working. Watching the water tumble merrily down the face of the exquisite waterfall accenting the Earl Burns Miller Japanese Garden on the campus of California State University brought him no peace. Neither did the ornate wooden bridges set harmoniously around a gently rippling koi pond.
"I had to get out of the office and talk to somebody, Father." In social settings, Ranell typically addressed his friend as Monsignor. His use now of the priestly honorific was an instinctive reflex brought on by his intense sense of spiritual turmoil.
“You look like you’re about to fall over,” Mendoza said softly. “Please, let’s sit down and talk.”
Ranell glanced furtively at a set of stone steps, but there wasn't any good place to sit. He burned with restless energy. "Can we just walk?"
"Of course. Of course." Together the two men began to follow the trail past the Zen Garden. "I've never seen you so upset, Josef. What's wrong?"
Ranell tried to answer, but a sob caught in his throat. He walked on in silence while he tried to master his emotions.
Mendoza just walked with him, giving Ranell the time he needed.
“It’s all falling apart.” Ranell finally managed to choke out through gritted teeth.
“What is?”
“Everything.” It felt like a dam was breaking inside him, and a wild light shone in his eyes. He turned suddenly and grabbed Mendoza’s sleeve. “Everything’s falling apart! We’ve done something bad.” Ranell trembled from the intensity of his emotion, but he forced himself to share something deeper with the man he trusted most in the world. “I’ve… I’ve done something bad. I’ve sinned, Father. GML is ruined.”
“Breathe.”
Ranell inhaled with a shudder, and then forced himself to exhale slowly through pursed lips. His pace slowed. He took another deep breath, and another.
Get control of yourself, Josef. It helped, and his breathing began returning to normal. "The one thing I wanted most was to save my employees from unemployment." The words came out flat, but that was just an illusion of emotional control. Ranell chewed his lower lip, his face screwed into a grimace. “But there was no way to prevent that. So, we made a deal that I knew was dirty.”
Mendoza considered these statements for a long time, seeming in no hurry to respond. The two men rounded the path and passed a tiny beach created with plate-sized black stones. At last, he asked, "It sounds like you are saying your company has done something illegal, is that right?”
Ranell's lower lip curled under, and tears threatened his eyes. The muscles of his jaw writhed with tension. He said nothing, just nodded his head, confirming Mendoza's suspicions.
Mendoza's eyes widened momentarily at Ranell's intense reaction, but then he said quietly, “Hmm… I see. As bad as that? I’m not a lawyer, Josef. Are you facing legal consequences?”
Ranell’s chin dropped to his chest. He nodded his head.
“First things first, Josef,” Mendoza’s words were soft and calming. “Legal issues often require secrecy and caution. But issues of the soul require space to speak honestly and safely. You need to talk, Josef. You know you can tell me anything in confidence. It is absolute.”
Mendoza’s words felt like a safe harbor amid a building storm. He accepted the offer to talk. “They’re investigating GML for trade-based money laundering, or TBML," Ranell cracked, sobbing as he confessed. Mendoza took his elbow and guided him to a secluded spot, out of view, while Ranell regained his composure.
Choose Option 1: Discuss the Investigation
Choose Option 2: Confess Deal with Chinese