Mail-In Ballot Never Arrives
Juan stood and stretched his aching back. His garden was overgrown with tomatoes, peppers, and tomatillos. The metal bowl he held overflowed with the ingredients Maria would need to make her next batch of pico de gallo. It was nearly six pm, but the ferocious heat of the August afternoon sun was scarcely touched by the slow arrival of evening.
“Buenos días, amigo!” Juan’s neighbor, Rob Lewis, was always practicing his Spanish.
“Buenas tardes,” Juan corrected, glancing at the blazing sun gradually sinking toward the horizon.
Rob laughed, “I always get that wrong.”
“Whatcha doin’ Rob?” Juan indicated that they should head for the house to escape the heat.
“Hanging out,” Rob said absently. “Maybe drinking a beer?”
Juan grinned, “You just want Maria to cook for you.”
“Naw, not me!” Rob pretended to protest. “But I did hear a rumor that someone might have gotten a new batch of your aunt’s tamales…”
“Ay, cabrón,” Juan muttered playfully, “C’mon inside.”
The crack and fizz from popping open the ice-cold cans of Coors Light helped Juan relax as he eased into his chair at the dining room table. Maria was busy chopping up peppers and onions, so he knew it would be a while yet before they ate.
“You’re always working,” Rob opened the conversation. “When are you going to retire, Juan?”
“What? And hang around all day doing nothing like you?” Juan did plan to retire in a couple of years. Maybe he’d head back to his old village in Mexico where a lot of his relatives still lived. His social security check could set Maria and him up comfortably there for the rest of their lives.
Rob raised his can in a toast, “I’ll drink to that!”
“Salud!” Juan clinked cans with Rob.
Then Rob caricatured a hurt expression, “Is that what you really think? That I sit around all day? Don’t you know that somebody around here has to keep his finger on the pulse of the nation?”
Juan was hesitant to get Rob started, “OK. What’s going on in the world?”
“Glad you asked!” Rob beamed.
I’m going to regret this, Juan thought dourly.
Rob launched into a report on the day’s events that seemed already prepared, “Did you hear how those fools in Congress voted to impeach Biden?”
Juan hadn’t heard about that. “No, what for?”
“They’re all bogus charges,” Rob’s face wrinkled in disgust, and he took another sip of beer as if to wash away some bad taste. “They say he's derelict in his duties for not enforcing the border laws.”
“Really?” Juan was shocked. “What does that mean? Is he going to jail?”
Rob pursed his lips and shook his head dismissively, “Nah, it’s all just a political stunt. It won’t amount to anything.”
“So, Biden is not going to be impeached?” Juan wasn’t quite sure how things worked.
“No, he’s already been impeached by Congress,” Rob explained. “But he will never get convicted by the Democratically run Senate. Same thing happened to Trump.”
“Trump was impeached twice, right?” Juan wanted to demonstrate that he wasn’t ignorant of the political process.
“That’s right,” Rob nodded. “Once while in office, and again after he was out.”
“And he wasn’t convicted?” It was more of a statement than a question.
Rob was happy to answer it anyway, “Nope! The Republican-controlled Senate saved him both times. But they’re not going to save him from the courts! The verdict on that POS will be handed down in a couple of days.”
“What do you mean?” I don't need to watch the news, Juan mused. Rob does enough of that for both of us.
“I mean that fool has finally met his match!” Rob fairly crowed. “Trump’s going to jail!”
“If he goes to jail, does that mean he can’t be the President?” Juan accepted a plate with beans, rice, and two steaming hot tamales from Maria.
Rob sighed. “No. The Constitution doesn’t prohibit him from continuing his campaign, even if he’s in jail… Thanks, Maria,” Rob said as she placed a plate in front of him. “But who would vote for a criminal who’s been locked up? Who are you going to vote for, Juan?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
Rob’s eyebrows went up, “But you’re registered, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Juan nodded, digging into the meal. “A guy came by my house a couple of months ago and signed us up. He said we were supposed to get our ballots in the mail, but I haven’t seen them yet.”
“A couple months ago?” Rob said, aghast. “That should only have been a couple of weeks. You better check on that.”
I’m not sure how to do that, Juan thought. It was strange to think that neither of the leading candidates might even be in this race much longer.
What Does Juan Think Will Happen?
Choose Option 1: Senate Will Save Biden
Choose Option 2: Trump Will Go to Jail