Low-Interest Rates

“Hey Juan, thanks for coming over,” Juan’s neighbor, Rob Lewis, opened the gate to his backyard. The two men sat in their regular chairs. “You want a beer?” Rob asked.

“Sure,” Juan answered, accepting the ice-cold can of Coors Light. “How come you’re asking me in English? Have you stopped practicing your Spanish? You’re never gonna get better if you don’t practice,” Juan gently scolded.

Rob’s grinned sheepishly, “Lo siento, señor. I will try harder to practice.”

Juan laughed and leaned back in his chair. “What’s going on? Why’d you call me over here today? Is something broken? You sounded kind of serious on the phone.”

“I am serious!” Rob hoisted a beer can. “Serious about having a party today!”

The unexpected announcement from his close friend pleased Juan, “What’s going on?”

Rob looked up at Juan with red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes, “I’m celebrating.” It looked like he’d been celebrating for a while.

“What’s going on?” Juan repeated. “Did you get some money?” Juan knew that Rob had received a disability paycheck for years from a work-related injury.

“No,” Rob shook his head. “Nothing like that.”

Juan waited.

“It’s just that…” Rob blushed again, his face beet red. “Well, it’s like this. I’ve never really had the money to follow my dreams.”

“You can’t always do what you want, Rob,” Juan nodded. “None of us can. But that’s OK. Life is pretty good. En Vida, right?”

Rob let out a frustrated sigh and looked away, up and to the right. “Life hasn’t been good for me for a long time, OK?” He sighed, “But I’m gonna change that.”

“What you gonna do now, Rob?” Juan asked, his brow furrowed. “You need some money?”

“Naw,” Rob popped the top on his next can. “I don’t need any money. That’s what I’m talking about. I just refinanced my house. The interest rates have dropped so low, and I just pulled out all the cash I need.”

Juan was dying of curiosity. “You did? Why? What are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna live my dream, bro,” Rob slurred his words and flashed a mad grin. “I’m gonna get a sex-change operation.”

“What?” Juan was sure he’d misunderstood.

“You heard me.” Rob reached out and placed his hand on Juan’s knee. “I’ve been living a lie all my life. Now my new life is going to begin.” He seemed desperate for Juan’s approval.

Juan felt a sudden, uncomfortable urge to push Rob’s hand away. But Rob was a good friend, “What are you talking about? I’ve known you for over ten years! And now I find out you’re a… you’re a…” Juan wasn’t sure what the right word was.

“I’m a woman,” Rob smiled. “At least I am on the inside. I’ve known it for years, of course. But now it’s time for me to live the life I was meant for.”

Juan could tell that Rob was pleading for acceptance, and he felt a sense of deep compassion, “Well, uh, what do I say? Congratulations, huh?”

“Oh, Juan!” Rob sank his head into his hands as tears began to stream. He was more than a little drunk. “I was so worried that this would cost me your friendship.”

It was an extremely awkward moment, but Juan managed to pat Rob’s shoulder reassuringly, “Hey, that’s OK. We’re amigos! Nothing is gonna change that, right?”

Rob looked up and smiled, “I guess I’m your amiga, now.”