Lawyers Flood the Zone
“Are you going to watch the election?” Maria asked. She was cleaning up the evening dishes. “I want to see who won before I go to work.”
“Is that tonight?” The television was playing some telenovela that Maria liked to watch. Juan had been scrolling on his cell phone, ignoring it.
“Ay, guau!” Maria’s expression of surprise was meant to tease. “All this talk about your first election, and you don’t even know what day it is?”
Juan sighed and aimed the remote at the TV, changing the channel to Univision.
It was boring. The Univision studio had been transformed into an “Election Headquarters” complete with large screens and maps displaying the incoming election results. The anchors talked incessantly about exit polls and early results, but as the hours passed, they could only conclude that the race was still too close to call.
Juan promised, kissed her, and walked her to the door. Before returning to his chair, he poured a substantial amount of tequila into a plastic glass.
Juan scoffed at the expert analysis offered by pollsters and representatives from both parties. As the night wore on, they started calling the states in the Eastern time zone. Indiana and Kentucky both came in for Trump, followed by Vermont with a resounding win for Biden.
A little while later, an extremely tight race in Virginia was called for Trump. After all the indictments and crimes he’d been charged with, the anchors were going wild speculating on the significance of that development.
Juan looked at his watch. It was still reasonably early in the evening in Arizona, but the polls were scheduled to close in a few hours. It was a special night, so he thought he’d treat himself to one last tequila before heading to bed. I’ll find out who won tomorrow.
They announced that South Carolina was being called for Trump when breaking news interrupted the broadcast.
“Good evening. I’m Maria Rodriguez, and Univision is bringing you a developing story from Arizona where the 2024 presidential election is being challenged by several attorneys representing the Republican National Committee.”
What’s this? Juan thought. Arizona’s in the news?
The broadcaster continued, “In the aftermath of the controversies surrounding the 2020, the RNC has fielded dozens of attorneys to each of the key battleground states.”
Juan whistled, “Good luck catching anyone that way!”
A back-and-forth exchange between “experts” was so convoluted that Juan could barely follow it.
“The challenges to the election are significant,” one man opined. “Based on the recent changes to the Emergency Election Procedures enacted for 2024, attorneys representing the Republican Party have filed legal challenges related to the ambiguity surrounding voter registration deadlines.”
An anchor asked for context, “How serious are these charges, Maria?”
“Very serious,” the anchor was the picture of calm poise. “The RNC legal team is responding swiftly and aggressively to all reports of irregularities.” The news screen cut to a scene showing several well-dressed men and women in what appeared to be a courtroom. “The state of Arizona is being forced to demonstrate greater transparency in the election process. Whether there is a discrepancy in ballot counting or concerns raised about the security of electronic voting systems, these legal professionals are on the front lines, ready to investigate and rectify any issues they encounter.”
Maybe it was the tequila, but Juan felt smarter and more powerful than he could ever remember. “We’ve been doing this for over thirty years, you’re never gonna change nothing.” He finished his tequila and went to bed. He already knew how this election would turn out.