“Have you been watching this?” Juan’s neighbor, Rob Lewis, had CNN blaring on his TV.
Juan shook his head, “I usually watch Univision.”
“I’m practicing my Spanish, but I can’t keep up with that station,” Rob said, handing Juan a beer. They settled in to watch the news.
The interviewer asked, “Madame Vice President, thank you for joining us tonight. You’ve been under intense criticism for supporting RFK Jr.’s campaign, haven’t you? How would you respond to those critics?”
Vice President Harris glared into the TV screen, “As you know, I served for four years as the Vice President for one of the most successful administrations in American history,” she pronounced boldly. “But the racist, misogynistic, and corrupt officials running this campaign just can’t stand to see the first woman of color become the President of the United States. I am the second in line. I deserve this.”
“The electoral map is now fragmented,” the interviewer pushed back. “Because of your actions, no candidate has been able to secure the necessary electoral votes. What are your thoughts on the unprecedented chaos you’ve thrust the country into?”
“I don’t care about the chaos. That’s not my fault!” Harris’ eyes flashed maniacally, and she laughed, “Crossing me like this has consequences.”
Juan drained his beer. He tossed the can haphazardly at the recycle bin and missed. “I’m so sick of all this political stuff,” he growled. “I’ve been workin’ my butt off, and all we’ve got is this mess. It’s a disaster.”
“Oh no, brother,” Rob was nearly bursting with glee. “This is the best thing to ever happen to our country!”
“What are you talking about,” Juan accepted another beer. “How could any of this be good?”
“Because we flipped Congress, bro!” Rob shouted.
Juan was lost.
“Think about it,” Rob explained. “To win the Presidency, you need to get 270 electoral votes, right?”
Juan was vaguely familiar with the electoral college system. It seemed unnecessarily complicated to him. Still, he accepted Rob’s explanation at face value, “OK.”
“Newsom couldn’t get to 270 because he basically hasn’t even been in the race until just recently,” Rob began counting off points using his fingers. “RFK Jr. couldn’t get to 270 because he’s a damn third-party candidate and never stood a chance anyway,” Rob cursed the Vice President to convey his feelings on that matter. “And Trump couldn’t get to 270 because at least some of his cult followers couldn’t vote for a felon who’s currently serving time in jail!”
“So, no one wins?” Juan was still confused.
Rob laughed, “Somebody’s going to win, dude!”
“Who?”
“Whoever Hakeem Jeffries says,” Rob crowed. “He’s the new Speaker of the House, and all he needs to do is whip up 26 votes, and Newsom wins.”
Juan threw his hands in the air, spilling beer on the couch. “Newsom? But he didn’t win…”
Rob took the next few minutes to explain to Juan that there have only been two US presidential elections in which the House picked the President. The first was in 1800, in which Thomas Jefferson was selected over Aaron Burr. The second was in the contentious 1824 election, where John Quincy Adams was selected over Andrew Jackson.
“When no one can get enough electoral votes,” Rob concluded, “It goes to Congress to decide. Each state gets a single vote. So, the first side to come up with 26 votes wins. And since so many Republican Congressmen quit this year, our side controls Congress.”
Understanding dawned on Juan, and his eyes lit up. “We control Congress. So, Jeffries can get the 26 votes… then what?”
“Then Newsom becomes our next President!” Rob Shouted.
They clinked beer cans together, “Salud!”